


Lonely

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 09:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Lonely

Have you ever been lonely? 

By this, I don't mean completely alone. I mean lonely. You can feel lonely in a room full of people and it fucking sucks. It hurts and your heart feels like it's on fire. Somethings wrong, your body's screaming at you. You're not having a panic attack but you're on the edge of one. It's even worse when the loneliness you feel is full of fake smiles. You feel like you're at a masked party but it's real life, and you're the only one not in a mask. Or maybe it's you in the mask, and that's why even though everyone seems to be ignoring you they are also judging you. 

It makes your head hurt. Surely those things can't go together but somehow they will. Somehow they are. The feelings inside you feel like they are going to burst and you've become a time bomb. Set to explode without a countdown. You're just there. Existing. Hurting. Afraid. How do you come back from that? How do you breathe...?

You tell yourself, it'll be okay.

You put on a fake smile when you need to (on the days you can). You go to wherever you need to go and then you come home again and you shake. You crumble. You try to distract yourself with activities but by the end of it, you'll just end up in bed cuddling a pillow anyway. You're a lost cause, or at least, that's how it feels. Will things be different? Will things change? Will people stop pretending to be my friend and just tell me they don't like me instead of messing with my head? 

You'll notice I've changed the pronoun I've been using... because you can't feel these emotions, (well I hope not you're a piece of paper...) but I am. 

I fucking hurt. 

Why do people hate who I am? I'm finally comfortable with who I am and people dislike me. Even though I've found who I am people treat me like a nobody. I'm just another student in a classroom. I'm just another follower on Twitter. I'm just another statistic to society. 

My heads hurting because I must have friends that do like me...but I can't help but concentrate on those who dislike me. I know you can't be liked by everyone, but that doesn't mean I have to accept being disliked. I can't help but ask myself, "why don't they like me?"

What have I done that's so bad that they have to go around telling people not to be friends with me. 

There are 7 billion humans on this planet and I feel like I'm running out of people.

Eventually, there will be no-one left to like me. The dislike for me seems to be spreading like wildfire. I am lonely. Not alone, lonely. 

I've never written these feelings down before. I thought it would make me feel better, but I still want to be sick. 


End file.
